does this fat make me look fat?!

omg jimBold,

donde esta your blog posts?!
people are getting fat out there, and you have a motherly obligation to encourage and inspire the testosterone nation as our personal trainer of life! and no excuses (ie. your period), as i will now give you some post ideas to DEMOLISH that fitness brain fart:

Idea #Uno - throw a flash workout! 
you know how that flash mob is so hot right now? i think you can do anything really. flash workout. flash dance. flash strip. flash flash. flash orgy. so many unexplored options.
Idea #Dos - wear a sports bra for a day!
you have to appeal to your female readers, and what better way than to talk about boobs?! surely, the males will not object (include pics, they are visual creatures).

Idea #Tres - answer reader questions!
how do sumo wrestlers stay fit? do plants work out? how many buff bros does it take to screw (-in a light bulb)?
Idea #Quatro - just use lotsa fitness-y words like EXPLOSIVE POWER and PUMP and BLAST and DEMOLISH and UNLEASH...
...except when you're talking about the laxative diet.

and as discussed, i would be honored to do a guest post on your blog, maybe even a vlog. you never know.
tight end,
z

the simple joys of carb-loading

jimmy-john,

i am 3 posts behind again, must be the short sox curse or something. same reason you didn't get 1st place in the spartan race. long sox are key. so what's my excuse this time?!

well as you know, school started, so a few important public health things i had to deal with:

1. "freshman fifteen," am i safe from it as a non-freshman?

which one of these guys ate 15 freshmen?!

2. inner-tube-water-basketball = canceled :(
so the unc pool is closed because of "Asbestos" (who is this latino man? and why did he pee in it?), therefore partaking in this great activity will be unlikely.

3. should i start an unsolicited fitness advice column? (err "don't ask, do tell")
should you get in the cage with a tiger? should you eat babies? were you ever a baby? i got the answers to these and much more.

but let's face it, 1 of your 3 posts that i missed deserves a mckayla face. and it's not the serial killer one. that is my favorite true horror story. yea you guessed it, the gym review posts, they even make chris brown almost do a mckayla face.

source: freakin google duh

justdoit,
z