quit playing games with my heart.
z
p.s. it's over. it's not me, it's you.
z
p.s. it's over. it's not me, it's you.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Monday, March 4, 2013
DIY: sweatpant cut-off shorts!
it's fashion week somewhere, and famous designers are coming up with the latest trends quicker than Lady Gaga can say "bacon!"
2013: fashion backward is fashion forward
but when it comes to fitness fashion, celebrities who are just like us have moved on from Twilight-wolf-guy jorts to Chris Pine sweatpant-shorts!
here is how to make your own sweatpant-shorts:
Step 1: get some old sweatpants
Step 2: cut them to preferred length
Step 3: put sweatpant shorts on
Step 4: throw away scraps OR make a cute outfit for a goat!
meeehhhh bitches
(images from google gods)
Friday, March 1, 2013
don't suck (at sports)
fitness nation,
(all google images)
the mating season has officially kicked off (on valentine's day duh), and as predicted by our chief meteorologist punxatawney phil, clothes will be flying off sooner than expected this year!!
omg look at that freshly cut grass!
yes it's time to get that body ready for exposure, so get outside and kick it like real athletes (slash models) because SPORTS ARE FOR EVERYONE!!
1. Boys like .... ALL SPORTS... (and are totally lying!)
2. Girls like ... SPORTS (THAT ARE NOT SPORTS)
3. Feminists like.... BADMINTON (really, they just like hitting (shuttle) cocks)
4. Gay dudes like .... ANYTHING WITH BALLS (yea representin' LGBLT!)
5. Politicians like... FOOTBALL (they're sooo Amurrcan but also sooo foreign-relation-y)
7. Tweens like... TAYLOR SWIFT (#thingsiwillneverunderstandandhashtagstoo)
choosing the right sport will obviously make you less likely to suck at it. so this spring, buy some sweet long sox, join a sports team, and meet fun new people!! (personally, i prefer adding strangers on Facebook and sending them a "I know you're Batman, your secret is safe with me" message ... yea guess who's got 500+ superhero friends?!)
put the 'meat' in 'team'
z
Friday, February 8, 2013
Long Sox Fit ME is better than Long Sox Fitness
as a young, young girl, about a year ago, i started a blog commenting on my friend's fitness blog.
today, i emerge a blogging butterfly with a fitness blog of my own!
some question whether i have the skills to inspire the testosterone nation the way my pal Jimmay did with his Long Sox Fitness blog... some question if there is such a thing as too much electrolytes...
the answer is ALWAYS "yes!"
let's face it, fitness-fiends, you come to blogs when you're super bored, with nothing to do and nowhere to go, on a rainy Monday afternoon, when work sucks, and all you want to do is complain about it on Facebook, but you already did that first thing in the morning, so here you are...
WELCOME!
I LOVE YOU!
YOU ARE SPECIAL!
now that you feel your self-esteem is at an all time high (thanks to this blog), you will return for more next time!
but for now, here is a cliche motivational poster inspired by GoPro commercials:
glad tidings of awesomeness,
z
Sunday, September 9, 2012
does this fat make me look fat?!
omg jimBold,
donde esta your blog posts?!
people are getting fat out there, and you have a motherly obligation to encourage and inspire the testosterone nation as our personal trainer of life! and no excuses (ie. your period), as i will now give you some post ideas to DEMOLISH that fitness brain fart:
Idea #Uno - throw a flash workout!
you know how that flash mob is so hot right now? i think you can do anything really. flash workout. flash dance. flash strip. flash flash. flash orgy. so many unexplored options.
Idea #Dos - wear a sports bra for a day!
you have to appeal to your female readers, and what better way than to talk about boobs?! surely, the males will not object (include pics, they are visual creatures).
Idea #Tres - answer reader questions!
how do sumo wrestlers stay fit? do plants work out? how many buff bros does it take to screw (-in a light bulb)?
Idea #Quatro - just use lotsa fitness-y words like EXPLOSIVE POWER and PUMP and BLAST and DEMOLISH and UNLEASH...
...except when you're talking about the laxative diet.
and as discussed, i would be honored to do a guest post on your blog, maybe even a vlog. you never know.
tight end,
z
donde esta your blog posts?!
people are getting fat out there, and you have a motherly obligation to encourage and inspire the testosterone nation as our personal trainer of life! and no excuses (ie. your period), as i will now give you some post ideas to DEMOLISH that fitness brain fart:
Idea #Uno - throw a flash workout!
you know how that flash mob is so hot right now? i think you can do anything really. flash workout. flash dance. flash strip. flash flash. flash orgy. so many unexplored options.
Idea #Dos - wear a sports bra for a day!
you have to appeal to your female readers, and what better way than to talk about boobs?! surely, the males will not object (include pics, they are visual creatures).
Idea #Tres - answer reader questions!
how do sumo wrestlers stay fit? do plants work out? how many buff bros does it take to screw (-in a light bulb)?
Idea #Quatro - just use lotsa fitness-y words like EXPLOSIVE POWER and PUMP and BLAST and DEMOLISH and UNLEASH...
...except when you're talking about the laxative diet.
and as discussed, i would be honored to do a guest post on your blog, maybe even a vlog. you never know.
tight end,
z
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
the simple joys of carb-loading
jimmy-john,
i am 3 posts behind again, must be the short sox curse or something. same reason you didn't get 1st place in the spartan race. long sox are key. so what's my excuse this time?!
well as you know, school started, so a few important public health things i had to deal with:
1. "freshman fifteen," am i safe from it as a non-freshman?
2. inner-tube-water-basketball = canceled :(
so the unc pool is closed because of "Asbestos" (who is this latino man? and why did he pee in it?), therefore partaking in this great activity will be unlikely.
3. should i start an unsolicited fitness advice column? (err "don't ask, do tell")
should you get in the cage with a tiger? should you eat babies? were you ever a baby? i got the answers to these and much more.
but let's face it, 1 of your 3 posts that i missed deserves a mckayla face. and it's not the serial killer one. that is my favorite true horror story. yea you guessed it, the gym review posts, they even make chris brown almost do a mckayla face.
justdoit,
z
i am 3 posts behind again, must be the short sox curse or something. same reason you didn't get 1st place in the spartan race. long sox are key. so what's my excuse this time?!
well as you know, school started, so a few important public health things i had to deal with:
1. "freshman fifteen," am i safe from it as a non-freshman?
 | |||||||||||||
| which one of these guys ate 15 freshmen?! |
2. inner-tube-water-basketball = canceled :(
so the unc pool is closed because of "Asbestos" (who is this latino man? and why did he pee in it?), therefore partaking in this great activity will be unlikely.
3. should i start an unsolicited fitness advice column? (err "don't ask, do tell")
should you get in the cage with a tiger? should you eat babies? were you ever a baby? i got the answers to these and much more.
but let's face it, 1 of your 3 posts that i missed deserves a mckayla face. and it's not the serial killer one. that is my favorite true horror story. yea you guessed it, the gym review posts, they even make chris brown almost do a mckayla face.
 |
| source: freakin google duh |
justdoit,
z
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